Sunday, July 30, 2006

TV: My Crowning Achievement

My high school class had a reunion this weekend, one that I didn’t attend. I have work to do, South Florida’s a long way from here, and I still owe people money back there.

Besides, I only found out about the reunion by accident. Realizing that we were due for one I checked online, and found a website devoted to the big shindig. My name is included on the list of those who can’t be found.

Which makes me wonder how hard they looked for me. Type my name into any search engine and you come right here. You’ll discover other Vince Keenans, of course: the Michigan political activist, the California realtor. But a glance at this website would have confirmed to anyone who knew the gangly adolescent me that they were in the right place. “He’s still talking about that subway movie he watched as a kid? That’s our guy.”

In the unlikely event that any Dunedin High classmates paging through our yearbook (When The Best Was Yet To Come!) wonders what became of me and found their way here, I say: I don’t have your money. I’m happy and healthy. I’m married but you don’t know her, and that’s your loss. And I am, in my own small way, in the movie business. Just like I said I’d be.

Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I can also offer you a look at my almost finest hour. Or half hour. Actually, twenty-four minutes. Some kind soul has posted every episode of the IFC game show Ultimate Film Fanatic, including the one on which I rocked the mic. It originally aired in January 2005. Now my humiliation will live forever.

Part one features introductions and trivia. From my stance and cadence, it should be clear that my role model when it comes to public speaking is Rod Serling. Note the badass look I throw at the camera at the end of my intro.

Part two is the debate round. For the record, while I am a proud Kevin Costner fan I wouldn’t say I love him. We exaggerate on TV.

Part three is obsession items. It includes the coolest moment of my life, courtesy of genuine badass Henry Rollins.

And that’s only the first of what will be many TV appearances, baby. Because for me, the best really is yet to come. Go Falcons.